Author: the dark adept. Posted At: 03/17/2007 at 08:38 PM
Name; Jay'Col, though he likes to be known as "Death"
Physical Appearance: Your standard matured Coynite with black fur. he wears metal boots and chestplate.
History:
Born onto the planet of Coyn in 4ABY Jay'Col had a happy childhood. his mother, Xir'An, cared for him well and his father, Yal'Ren, taught him the ways of a Coynite warrior.
Jay'Col lived a very relaxed life until the New Order invaded his homeworld. The Imperials disallowed all Coynite traditions including gladiatorial fights. Jay'Col was taught Basic by Imperials against his will and like all other young coynites forced to speak it. The Coynites attempted to rebel but were slaughtered in the process. This included Yal'Ren. Out of pure anger the 11 year old Jay'Col lifted an entire Imperial Landspeeder and threw it at a platoon of men, killing them all.
Fearing for his families safety, Jay'Col smuggled himself and his brother into a suppies craft returning to an orbiting Star Destroyer (His mother had been captured and killed) . once aboard the now 12 year old Jay'Col explored the bowels of the craft, finding an escape pod ready to be deployed. Before he could do this however Jay'Col's brother, Ur'Sai was shot by a patrolling trooper. Jay'Col had no choice but to escape in the pod.
The pod sent Jay'Col into deep space where a stationary pirate craft hung. Drawing Jay'Col in the pirates were amazed at his story and taught him many tricks of their trade, including evasion and the art of discretion. Jay'Col was fond of them but decided to leave many years later when one of there smaller crafts took their "wares" to the Astral Astoria to sell.
Jay'Col was instantly recruited by the security staff and was gave training in his now favoured weapon; the Force Pike. Jay'Col has since worked as a security guard on an administration floor.
Author: Death_Stalks_Thee. Posted At: 03/17/2007 at 09:25 PM
I don't know if it is required or not but may I suggest maybe a longer and more detailed history. Now I don't claim to be experienced or anything or know much but probably help a little.
Author: the dark adept. Posted At: 03/18/2007 at 04:40 PM
trust me, its longer than some others :P
i will be writing a more detailed history when it happens. at the moment, it is.
Author: Beff Pike. Posted At: 03/18/2007 at 08:39 PM
Is it? And were those you refer to laughed out of the house? Mhmmm... Something to keep in mind, TDA.
Author: the dark adept. Posted At: 03/19/2007 at 07:54 PM
that is a good point actually. ill get writing and then edit that when its finished :D
Author: the dark adept. Posted At: 03/31/2007 at 07:55 AM
finished the history Beff.
Author: Leia Organa Solo. Posted At: 03/31/2007 at 08:00 AM
um... I suggest you call it a "work in progress" and continue to refine it.
Just a thought.
Author: Beff Pike. Posted At: 03/31/2007 at 08:59 AM
And how. Amen, Leia. Amen...
Author: Death_Stalks_Thee. Posted At: 03/31/2007 at 02:15 PM
Some stuff to consider once again, (hope no one minds me saying these things if anyone does i'll stop), stuff like, eye color, personality, a little more description on what he looks like, and some of the other details i've seen in alot of other bios.
Author: Ithron. Posted At: 03/31/2007 at 03:25 PM
A suggestion for you:
The last three paragraphs of your bio would together make quite an interesting story. If you want some ongoing writing practice, a good project could be to expand them all into a story. Aim for maybe 1500 words over all the posts, telling the story of how he escaped, and how his training with the Force Pike went. If you finish a story on it, post it in the Battlegrounds as a closed thread, or even post it here. People can then read it and judge your writing that much better. That has the advantage that you don't have to wait for Vodo or Wes to RP with: You can just add to the story whenever you want.
Also, a little hint: In your OOC posts, as Beff has said (many times), make sure that your spelling, punctuation and grammar (SPAG as my Primary School teacher used to say...) are pretty damn good. You could be saying stuff that makes a lot of sense, but if you don't start it with a capital letter and end it will a full stop, you'll look like an idiot. If you look like an idiot, people assume you are one. Unfair perhaps, but that's how it goes.
If you remember to start it with a capital letter and punctuate it correctly, you can get away with posting all sorts of rubbish...
Author: the dark adept. Posted At: 03/31/2007 at 05:12 PM
Good point Ithron. I am working on a roleplay with Cendar at the moment, and that is summing up some things, but I will write his story one day.
Author: Ithron. Posted At: 03/31/2007 at 05:31 PM
Excellent :) Have fun.
Author: the dark adept. Posted At: 03/31/2007 at 05:36 PM