HEIGHT: 5"8
WEIGHT: 140lbs
BUILD: Medium
CLOTHES: Brown Shirt, Black Body warmer, Black trousers and shiny black boots
WEAPONS: Blaster Pistol, Mines (about 10 on him)
VEHICLE: Converted speeder bike (one used by imperials on endor)
HISTORY: Bato was brought up in mos eisley in tatooine where his father and grandfather worked as guards for jabba the hutt. This was until the battle of the great pit of carkoon where jedi master skywalker killed both of them and left Bato and his mother to struggle. after skywalker and company left tatooine jabbas palace was looted by many smugglers and paupers, among them bato and his mother, who, quite unfortuneately, was shot by a vicious smuggler with the same blaster pistol bato uses today. after killing his mothers murderer, he escaped using a scrapped imperial speeder bike he found on a freighter.
PAST THREADS: In pursuit (battlegrounds)
Escaping the guards ( astral astoria)
Author: Vance Jas. Posted At: 05/27/2006 at 01:43 PM
You can actually paste all of the above, in your expanded post, into your first thread post (just use the edit button). That way, it's better...
This is a nice start, I'll come back with opinions on how to improve within the next few days.
Cheers.
Author: Bato Das. Posted At: 05/28/2006 at 11:44 AM
Thanks for that, Lord of the Sith
Thanks,
Bato
Author: Beff Pike. Posted At: 05/28/2006 at 07:38 PM
Ignore the man in the hood.
Author: Bato Das. Posted At: 05/29/2006 at 06:30 AM
i guess, him being a sith, is trouble
Author: Beff Pike. Posted At: 05/29/2006 at 06:49 AM
That's no Moon.
Get my drift? Mwah!
Author: Bato Das. Posted At: 05/29/2006 at 06:57 AM
i see....
Author: Vance Jas. Posted At: 05/30/2006 at 01:23 PM
...don't make me kill you both. I will. Honestly.
Sorry about the delay. I'm very limited on net time at the moment... I will begin writing up my suggestions offline tomorrow night.
Author: Bato Das. Posted At: 05/30/2006 at 01:45 PM
I dont know what to believe, ultimate evil (Vance) or some bounty hunter who wants to kill me (Beff)
Author: Beff Pike. Posted At: 05/30/2006 at 11:16 PM
"some" bounty hunter?
Man, you got some nerve. I am TEH Bounty Hunter. And Vance is just... welll... a man in a hood. Honestly, I think he does stand-up.
Author: Bato Das. Posted At: 05/31/2006 at 06:33 AM
then again,Beff, you were one of my first friends on here
Author: Vance Jas. Posted At: 05/31/2006 at 02:18 PM
...he's everyones friend... to begin with. Dun, Dun, DUN! Nah, he's a'right. ;)
Anyway, what I suggest for your biography:
- Expand on the history portion. Perhaps go into some detail about what his mother did through this time? Did he have any role models to look up to? Did he rebel and join a gang? Explain what happened to the guy who shot his mother? Did he start his life as a Hunter because of that?
You seem to have made it a brief summary... don't be afraid to pack in some detail.
- Throw the whole thing through a word processor; that will help get the grammer and spelling sorted out, and will make it easier to read.
- What else does he have? Does he own a ship? Is he working on getting one? Is he able to get off Tatooine? etc.
- What about a personality section? Let us know who he is and how he reacts to things?
Other than that, you have a good beginning for your biography. :) The above are just suggestions, and you don't have to listen... it's just a way for you to work on your character, and perhaps enjoy him more as he develops.
Author: Bato Das. Posted At: 05/31/2006 at 02:24 PM
Thanks Vance
Author: Bato Das. Posted At: 05/31/2006 at 02:26 PM
HEIGHT: 5"8
WEIGHT: 140lbs
BUILD: Medium
CLOTHES: Brown Shirt, Black Body warmer, Black trousers and shiny black boots
WEAPONS: Blaster Pistol, Mines (about 10 on him)
VEHICLE: Converted speeder bike (one used by imperials on endor)
HISTORY: Bato was brought up in mos eisley in tatooine where his father and grandfather worked as guards for jabba the hutt. This was until the battle of the great pit of carkoon where jedi master skywalker killed both of them and left Bato and his mother to struggle. after skywalker and company left tatooine jabbas palace was looted by many smugglers and paupers, among them bato and his mother, who, quite unfortuneately, was shot by a vicious smuggler with the same blaster pistol bato uses today. after killing his mothers murderer, he escaped using a scrapped imperial speeder bike he found on a freighter. The death of his mother inspired him to kill as many people as he could before he died to be with his family.
PAST THREADS: In pursuit (battlegrounds)
Escaping the guards ( astral astoria)
BASIC PERSONALITY: Quiet, Vicious, Well Spoken
Author: Beff Pike. Posted At: 05/31/2006 at 02:42 PM
I feel all warm and special inside.
Vance, knock it off and get out of there. I'm a good guy, through and through... well... until someone offers me the right price.
Author: Bato Das. Posted At: 05/31/2006 at 04:28 PM
all bounty hunters are the same.... can i join the guild?
Author: Beff Pike. Posted At: 05/31/2006 at 11:02 PM
Maybe one day.
Author: Bato Das. Posted At: 06/01/2006 at 02:38 PM