Author: Reiku17. Posted At: 07/20/2006 at 02:54 PM
Name: Kyp Altair (all-tie-ear)
Affiliation: Jedi
Rank: in search of a master
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Weight: 157lbs
Hair: dark brown
Height: 5' 11"
Force Sensitive: yes
Homeworld: Naboo
Clothing: Dark clothes and cloak very similar to Anakin Skywalker
http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j212/Reiku17/darkprinceofpersia.jpg
Weapons: blue lightsaber
background:
born on Naboo during a time of war Kyp was a prime candidate to become a jedi. he was trained by his father since birth until about the age of 10, his mother was a sith lord, she died giving birth. Kyp watched his father die in battle against a sith apprentice, enraged by what had happened he attacked his fathers killer out of anger and hatred pushing him very close to the dark side, but the sith was much too powerful for him but instead of killing him the sith apprentice just knocked him out and left him there. upon awakening Kyp took his fathers lightsaber and paid his respects to his first master and only father. Kyp keeps his fathers lightsaber with him but doesnt use it, a reminder of what happened he feels it gives him strength in battle, kyp feels hes not worthy to use it. he took all of the knowledge he had about the force and the jedi and continued with life he traveled to different planets in his fathers ship he tried to train himself to some degree but found it was impossible by the time he was 14 he was still basically a novice jedi, searching for a new master to take him in and finish his training so he could become a jedi knight so he can have revenge on the sith apprentice that killed his father. Kyp has had several close encounters with the dark side because of his uncontrollable temper but hes level headed until he gets to that point, Kyp is aware that this can drive him to the dark side but he believes it gives him power he just needs a master to help teach him how to control it. he fights using speed to outsmart and outmanuver his opponent rather than power because he isnt incredibly strong but hes deceptively fast.
(hope i did all that right this time im not the best writer in the world i just love to do it though let me know if somethings missing or i just completely screw up and dont know what im talking about and i threw in a crazy twist its really bizarre with the jedi and sith having a kid let me know if thats like completely impossible)
Author: Beff Pike. Posted At: 07/20/2006 at 02:59 PM
Do you guys all copy one template?
his skills in force techniques(sp?) are decent, but his saber skills are exceptional
Considering you have not been approved for any Force Status, you may want to reconsider this addition.
he can increase his speed to 30 meters per second.
This is not Marvel SuperHeroes.
That and you might want to expand your current biography... somewhat.
Author: Reiku17. Posted At: 07/20/2006 at 03:01 PM
Author: Beff Pike. Posted At: 07/20/2006 at 03:24 PM
No worries. Much better and I look forward to more.
Author: Titus. Posted At: 07/21/2006 at 01:59 AM
Looks pretty good. One word of advice though, paragraphs and capitalization will get you far. You don't have to be the greatest writer, but we do like things separated and legible. Not to go all grammar nazi on you.
Author: Beff Pike. Posted At: 07/21/2006 at 03:01 AM
Run it through the grinder. (spellchecker)
